THE DSO FRATERNITY IS NOW THE HFM BROTHERHOOD!

For those of you looking for the DSO Fraternity, you are in the right place! We have recently rebranded our private men's group to fall under the more inclusive "Help For Men" brand. We look forward to reaching a larger group of men all over the world, allowing us to increase our membership and keep adding benefits for our members.

As it has always been, the group will remain for MEN ONLY!

One truth we have learned over the years: It is absolutely crucial for men to have a "tribe" if they wish to succeed in life. As a man, your mental and physical health very much depends on your association with a group of like-minded men that you can count on.
Thank you for taking a moment to learn about our private group for men only that we call the HFM brotherhood. If there's one thing I've learned over the years of working with guys is that if you want to expedite the process of self- improvement, the quickest and the best way is by working with other people, more specifically, other like -minded people, guys that are on the same mission that you are on, they have the same attitude, they have the same goals, and have the same values.

Think of our group as your board of directors and mentors that are hired for the sole purpose of making YOU a better man.

Scroll down to see membership benefits and pricing. Give membership a try for a month or two. You will find that the group has all of the tools you need to help you on your journey to reclaiming your strength.
BENEFITS

WHAT DOES MEMBERSHIP INCLUDE?

Books

You will get access to all current and future books written by Ralph and the other coaches at no additional charge. PDF and audiobook format (if available). Listen from your phone!
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Private Discussion Forums

We have an EXTREMELY active private forum with members from around the world. Since we started our group, over 50,000 unique discussions have been created!

Member-Only Podcast

We have a podcast that we record for members only. Think of them as monologues from our coaches and members. You can listen right from your phone's podcast app!
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Live Zoom Meetings

We conduct live zoom meetings for our members 2-4 times per week. Meetings last anywhere from 1-2 hours on average. Participation is encouraged by not required. All meetings are recorded and archived!
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Discounts on Coaching and Courses

We offer coaching from our HFM team as well as courses for your to watch and learn from as often as you like. HFM Brotherhood members get 50% discounts on these products.

Access to Conferences and Meetups

Our members gather for formal conferences and informal meetups on a regular basis. Join us and meet your fellow members and the HFM team in-person!

Monthly

$27

monthly
 
 
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums
✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

Yearly

$277

yearly
 
 
Two Months FREE Eary Year!
Automatically Renews
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums
✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

Lifetime

payment plan

$69

12x monthly
payments

 
 
Just 12 payments and you're in for life!
Automatically Renews
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums

✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

Lifetime

No payments!

$647

one-time payment
 
 
No more membership payments!
Automatically Renews
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums
✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

MEMBER TESTIMONIALS

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  • "I still have some way to go on my quest to be a better man however I have access to a group of guys that can help me along the way and keep me accountable so I do not slip back to the way I was. My favourite part of being part of the group is being able to give back with some advice that could help someone else."


     - Bill

  • "The group is not anti-women which is also great and we get to hear the female perspective of some of the coaches wives and other women in their lives. If you are a man who is feeling lost, frustrated and or alone then this the group you need to help get you back in the game."


    - Bill

  • "I am leading a much more satisfying life with the help of the men here. Giving back to the men who have helped me and paying it forward to the new members joining is also an amazing feeling." 


    - Patrick

  • "An awesome bunch of guys from all over the world who are all here for each other no matter what. So much knowledge from men who have been through it all and are willing to assist each other. One of the best investments in my self improvement I have ever made."


    - Chris

  • "I was still dealing with resentment following my wife’s Emotional Affair that happened a number of years ago. The men in the group have helped me see how I was creating this dynamic by not allowing forgiveness and trust after so long. The men here are about helping each other be the best they can be."


    - Patrick

  • "The advice given in the group has proven to be priceless. Everything from relationship to career choices... I've greatly improved my quality of life. I can't say enough good things about this group."

    - Richard

  • "The group definitely helped save my marriage. Being the best man you can be is much easier when you have this resource on hand."

    - Michael

  • "If this group was available to me when I was younger, I would've made a lot better decisions in my life. I'm thankful to have it now. What do you have to lose by joining? Do it."

    - Noor

  • "I can't believe how much having this group has helped me change my life. I cannot express enough how much it helps."

    - Jason

  • "The group has the best, most supportive guys you will ever meet. I cannot recommend the group enough. Do yourself a favor and join."

    - Jeff

MEMBER TESTIMONIAL FROM JASON M.

“I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You”

Those words were spoken by my wife in the summer of 2016. Soul crushing to a guy that was married of 15 years with two kids, one in middle and one in elementary school. I was a depressed, very overweight unemployed middle school teacher and wrestling coach at that time. My marriage was not going like I had pictured it would be fifteen years in.

Fellas, as soon as I found The Dead Bedroom Fix in Sept ’19 I felt like I had been handed the wedding fixing manual that no one in my life had ever even touched on. I was so convinced I was going to have my old wife back in no time that I ordered a bunch of sex toys at the end of week two. What really happened was a ton of working on myself, trying things that did (losing 40lbs) and didn’t work (T-Rexing), and learning how to be a man again and not the total nice guy I was.

I was posting questions and scenarios right from the start. Three months in I was doing coaching sessions with Ralph. I was reading a few other books that worked (Masculine In Relationships) and that didn’t (No More Mr Nice Guy). I was messaging guys questions that I seemed to connect with about their stories, Jason H, Noor H, Austin G, Scotty G, etc. I did a testimonial with Ralph, I went to many online meetings during Covid, I made sure to go to BroFest #2 in Austin and met other guys that were similar to myself Brian C, Vince M, Doug W, Gus V, Kyle H.

I took countless pages of Notes on my phone and would implement strategies that I learned or tips that I read about from other guys. Some would work and others wouldn’t. My mindset slowly started to change. And when I say slowly, I mean slooooooowly. Of everyone that I met through this group of awesome brothers, every single one of them learned faster than myself. I was jealous, distraught about my situation and looking for pity, always comparing my situation with others that were making it work right away, I thought I was doing things wrong, thought she’ll never change, maybe I just married the wrong gal, etc. Not until I started to finally stop looking for excuses and just take the stance of “The reason we are where we are in this marriage is because of me. It’s my fault,” did things start to change.

It took me 18 months (married 18 years at that point, coincidence, I think not) to finally put enough work in on myself and get to the point that I felt like, “Ok. I’ve done the work, I’ve changed a lot for the better, I’ve taken on being the leader at home and it’s time to have
The Talk. If she doesn’t want to change, great. We’ll be great co-parents and we can go our separate ways.” She heard what I said, especially the part of “Yes, I used to be like that, but I am not that same guy any longer and I’ve shown you that consistently the last 18 months. You can’t judge me on my past when I don’t do those things any more (guilting and pressuring her into sex or throwing a tantrum when she didn’t feel like having sex were big ones). You can’t bring up past scenarios and traumas and use those to blame me for my past mistakes.” She believed that I was ready to call it quits if she wasn’t going to put in effort in herself and our marriage and slowly started to work on her things. I supported her, but didn’t tell her what to do. Shit was not easy, either. Life threw me no small amount of shit tests, and not just from my wife. I have a transgender kid that was close to ending his life. My other one was expelled his senior year for having a knife in his backpack. They both totaled their cars this summer. I lost my teaching job at the end of this past school year. My wife’s favorite relative, her aunt, recently died and we’re both watching our parents decline. The whole time I knew I had to be the leader so she could feel safe to be her emotional self. Not only that, I had to encourage her to eat right by making sure I stepped up and cooked healthy meals, and support her by going with her to workouts when she faltered instead of criticizing. I had to plan date nights, vacations, take over finances, nights out with friends, concerts, birthdays, etc. but not always alone. I do a lot of floating ideas and plans by her by inviting her to help me or take on certain tasks. I ain’t Superman and I love having her by my side contributing. She’s better at some things and excels at others way beyond me. She’s an intelligent, caring, funny, loving introvert that needs her man to pick her up and make sure she isn’t in her head 24/7 by putting things on her social calendar. The main thing I learned was that you have to know your woman. My wife checks a lot of my boxes, not all of ‘em, but most. And I can happily work with that.

It’s now been five years since I read The Dead Bedroom Fix. I’m very content where I am in my life. An employed teacher and wrestling coach, two kids very happy in their prospective colleges, a very happy elementary teaching wife who takes care of herself. I always wanted a partner who worked out/exercised. She does, maybe not to my end, but for her. That’s cool with me, I like being the better half in the relationship, haha. 

70%+

... of our members are lifetime members!

Topics Covered in Our Forums and Meetings

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  • Sex and Marriage
  • Emotional Vulnerability
  • Divorce
  • Parenting 
  • Dating After Divorce
  • Finding Your Mission
  • Career and Finances
  • Happy Marriages
  • Infidelity
  • Mental Health
  • Masculinity
  • Health and Fitness
  • Sex and Marriage
  • Emotional Vulnerability
  • Divorce
  • Parenting 
  • Dating After Divorce
  • Finding Your Mission
  • Career and Finances
  • Happy Marriages
  • Infidelity
  • Mental Health
  • Masculinity
  • Health and Fitness

900+

... hours of audio content!

MEMBER TESTIMONIAL FROM DARREN

It's common when first starting on the journey of self improvement to have a surge of motivation and ride the highs of the initial wins, however reality soon sinks in that it's a journey with no end point and constantly shifting goalposts. It's at this point particularly that we can then externalize elements that aren't going particularly to plan because simply we lack the discipline and accountability to stay the course and be consistent to level required.

This right here is where the HFM coaches are in their element. Particularly coach Steve.

My marriage was very much on the rocks and my life amounted to not much more than a 'pity party' of circumstances and victim mentality. Upon finding the brotherhood, I saw significant change for the better however with more awareness I began to drastically overthink and overcorrect to a point it was detrimental to my own wellbeing and the health of my marriage.

Steve was pivotal in helping me understand the underlying reasons of how this occured and offered plenty of simple, practical measures to keep myself in check. Perhaps most importantly, Steve helped me learn that the measure of my improvement and success cannot be measured by the actions and responses of others, particularly Mrs Wifey.

By learning to internalize the self improvement journey, I have become much more consistent in eradicating the 'nice guy' and anxious behaviours from my life and now look for ways to be accountable in all facets of life. The flow on effects to my relationships not just with my wife, but my kids, extended family and employer have been immense.

Steve is a coach who I am now fortunate enough to call a great mate. He is consistently in my corner and wants nothing but the best for me and isn't shy in pulling any punches where needed to keep me on track.

Coaching with Steve is right up there in the best investments I have ever made for myself. I cannot recommend highly enough coaching from the HFM team, particularly Steve. 

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MEMBER TESTIMONIAL FROM CLINT

Ten years ago, at the age of 42, I was a drunk, morbidly obese, checked-out husband and father of five. My career was hanging by a thread. Then, I experienced a wake-up call. My kids were going to watch me die and I was going to leave behind a sad disgraceful legacy. I crawled into an alcohol recovery meeting, grabbed a man I trusted and admired, and asked for help. I didn’t know what to do, but I became willing to follow advice and do whatever was necessary. Over the next several years I learned to live sober, prioritized my health, and lost 140 pounds.

My personal life and career improved dramatically. Yet, my relationship with my wife of over 20 years did not follow suit. She enjoyed the life I provided, but she actively avoided me. I was caught in a cycle of habitual chasing, appeasement, and begging. I grappled with anxiety, frustration, and anger. Occasionally, this would build to a climax, and I would explode on her. I would quickly feel ashamed, apologize repeatedly, and renew my efforts to please her. This continued for several years.

In late 2021, my wife began working at a gym. Her personal life began to revolve around her co-workers. She spent evenings away from home. I often found her engaged in personal texts with male co-workers. Similar behavior had occurred early on in our marriage that had resulted in an emotional and physical affair. When I brought up my concerns, she would quickly deflect, get angry, and bring up the hell I had put her through. I would quickly apologize and retreat.

I sought personal therapy. After a year of this my relationship still hadn’t improved. I asked my wife to attend marriage counseling. She agreed to go, but she used our sessions to vent resentments and blame.

Nothing I said or did improved our marriage. Then in the summer of 2023, I discovered "The Dead Bedroom Fix." I read it twice. I discovered that I had made several positive improvements, but there was one glaring area where I continued to mess up. My continual subordinating behavior towards my wife was not helping me or our marriage. My wife had zero respect for me, and she despised me. I had zero respect for myself, and I was miserable.

I began coaching with Jason. It became apparent that many of my wife’s behaviors were unacceptable in a healthy relationship. I needed to establish personal and relationship boundaries and enforce consequences if these boundaries were crossed. This was very uncomfortable. I did not feel justified. I felt like a controlling asshole. She exacerbated these fears with her emotional reactions and words: “How dare you?” “Who do you think you are?” “A good husband doesn’t behave this way.“

Despite her reactions, after a few months I was feeling better about myself. I was regaining some self-respect. My frustration, anger, and shame were disappearing. My view of a healthy relationship, built upon mutual respect, was solidifying. On the other hand, my wife’s attitude towards me was becoming downright hostile. Something had to change.

During a coaching session with Jason, it became clear that it was time for “The Talk”. Although the timeframe was accelerated, my relationship was at the breaking point, and I had already put in years of work towards myself and my relationship. My wife either needed to demonstrate sincere and consistent effort, or I was going to end our marriage. I gave her the ultimatum. It didn’t take her long. She told me she was done.

Her response was a gut punch. I was losing everything I valued and had built over a 30-year marriage. Yet, I knew she was voicing what she had been demonstrating for years. I accepted her response. I had already prepared a worse-case action plan, and I executed it rapidly. Using mediation I pushed through the divorce within one month. I moved out of our home within another month.

That 1st Christmas Eve, I sat alone in an empty townhouse without my family. I felt lonely, terrified, and broken. It was very similar to those early days of sobriety nearly a decade before. Only worse. Never underestimate the power of pain. In that silence and loneliness, a fire began to burn in me. It grew and strengthened my resolve. I would prove to myself and to my kids that a man can lose everything he cherishes and come back stronger.

Coaching sessions were a lifeline. During one, Jason walked me around his house. “Make your place into anything you want. Who gives a fuck what other people think.” Hell yeah. I went to work. Within a few months, that townhouse was my own fucked up fortress and sanctuary. People walked into my place and told me they loved my “style.” I didn’t know that I had a style.

On my own, I wasn’t sure what to do with my kids. Jason helped me work a parenting plan. I made schedules, joined school apps, and created meal and grocery plans. I put adventures on the calendar. Within a few months, I had the kid-thing nailed.

My financial situation was desperate. From the divorce, I owed tens-of-thousands in debt and to the IRS. Half my take-home pay was going to my ex-wife in alimony and child support. Jason’s motto was “FITFO.” I adopted this motto. When I didn’t have my kids, I worked 14–16-hour days. To avoid a long commute, I couch surfed, slept on a cot at work, or in my car. I meal prepped to minimize my grocery budget. Within 6 months, I paid off my credit card and IRS debt and built up my emergency savings.

After several months on my own, I was no longer just surviving. I was thriving. I traveled extensively across the US, Europe, and South Korea. I joined a Jiu Jitsu gym. I took my kids skiing, camping, and hiking. I went to live music concerts and comedy shows. I ran my first half marathon with my adult daughter. I was in the best physical shape of my life. I was living the life I always wanted.

As I approach the one-year anniversary of my divorce, my life isn’t perfect. Many challenges remain. My future is still uncertain. Yet, I don’t wish for the secure miserable life I had before. In a short span, I’ve walked through hell, and I’ve had some great adventures. I’ve developed abilities to adapt and a tremendous capacity to handle the shit that life throws at me. There are moments when I get discouraged, but I dig deep, replan, and move forward. I am extremely grateful and wouldn’t trade these experiences for the world. The HFM Brotherhood, coaching, and my personal experiences have taken me places I couldn’t have imagined a year ago. At age 50, I feel like I’m finally becoming the man I am meant to be.

Monthly

$27

monthly
 
 
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums
✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

Yearly

$277

yearly
 
 
Two Months FREE Eary Year!
Automatically Renews
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums
✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

Lifetime

payment plan

$69

12x monthly
payments

 
 
Just 12 payments and you're in for life!
Automatically Renews
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums

✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

Lifetime

No payments!

$647

one-time payment
 
 
No more membership payments!
Automatically Renews
✓Free Books (PDF & Audio)
✓Discussion Forums
✓Live Zoom meetings
✓Access to Meeting ✓Recordings
✓Access to In-Person Gatherings
✓Discounts on Coaching and Courses

 
 
 QUICK LINKS 

About Help For Men
Coaching
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Join The Brotherhood

 
 
 TOPICS 

Marriage
Divorce
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Mental Health
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 CONTACT 

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