10 Self-Care Strategies for Men During Divorce
Written by: Ralph B

Here are 10 self-care strategies to help you navigate this challenging time:

  1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Manage stress with daily meditation or breathing exercises.
  2. Stay Active with Regular Exercise: Boost your mood and energy with consistent physical activity.
  3. Focus on Eating Healthy Meals: Stabilize your emotions with a balanced diet rich in nutrients.
  4. Build Better Sleep Habits: Improve sleep quality by creating a calming bedtime routine.
  5. Join Men's Support Groups: Connect with others who understand what you're going through.
  6. Work with a Therapist or Coach: Get professional help to process emotions and plan your future.
  7. Keep in Touch with Friends and Family: Lean on your social circle for emotional and practical support.
  8. Spend Time on Hobbies You Enjoy: Reconnect with activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
  9. Plan for Financial and Legal Stability: Create a clear financial plan and address legal matters carefully.
  10. Work on Personal Growth and Resilience: Use this time to reflect, set goals, and build a stronger future.

These steps can help you regain stability and move forward with confidence. Start small - pick one or two strategies to focus on today.

Divorce Survival Guide for Men - Rebuilding Your Life

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can help manage the emotional challenges of divorce. These practices offer men a private way to process emotions and reduce stress, especially given societal expectations that often discourage open emotional expression [1].

"Men's emotional regulation during divorce can be significantly improved through consistent mindfulness practice", says Dr. James Anderson of Men's Divorce Recovery. "Just 10 minutes of daily meditation can lead to better stress management and clearer decision-making" [2].

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn describes mindfulness as paying attention to the present moment without judgment. This skill can help men stay grounded and focused during the upheaval of divorce [1].

Starting Your Mindfulness Practice

Here are some practical steps to begin:

  • Start Small: Dedicate 5-10 minutes daily to meditation. Find a quiet spot, focus on your breath, and observe your thoughts without judgment [1][3].
  • Use Guided Tools: Apps like Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer provide easy programs tailored for challenging times [1][3].

Techniques to Explore

Different meditation techniques can address specific needs during divorce:

  • Body Scan Meditation: Helps release physical tension.
  • Loving-Kindness Meditation: Encourages self-compassion.
  • Deep Breathing Exercises: Offers quick stress relief [1].

Mindfulness can also extend into everyday routines. Try mindful walking during breaks or a brief meditation before work. If your mind wanders, gently refocus on your breath - this practice strengthens your ability to face divorce-related challenges [1][3].

While mindfulness builds mental strength, combining it with physical activity can further enhance emotional well-being during this period.

2. Stay Active with Regular Exercise

Exercise plays a key role in improving both mental and physical health during a divorce. It provides structure and a sense of control during a time that can feel overwhelming. Regular physical activity boosts mood by releasing endorphins and helps you build resilience [5].

Why Exercise Helps

Here’s how staying active can support you during this period:

  • Reduces stress and helps manage emotions better
  • Boosts confidence and self-esteem
  • Improves sleep, helping you feel more rested
  • Adds structure to your daily routine

Creating a Routine That Works

Consistency is more important than intensity. Aim for 20-30 minute sessions that fit into your schedule. A balanced weekly plan might look like this:

Activity TypeFrequency
Cardiovascular (e.g., walking, jogging)3-4 times a week
Strength Training2-3 times a week
Mind-Body Activities1-2 times a week

"Single men often show improved physical health metrics compared to married counterparts, suggesting that divorce can become a catalyst for positive lifestyle changes through exercise", according to a global study on marital status and health outcomes [5].

Tips to Stick With It

Mind-body activities like yoga pair well with mindfulness practices, offering extra emotional benefits [5]. Start with simple, accessible options like walking, bodyweight exercises, or fitness apps - no gym membership required.

To stay on track:

  • Treat workouts like appointments and add them to your calendar
  • Partner up with a friend or join a group for accountability
  • Keep a log of your progress
  • Set small, manageable goals each week

Combine your exercise routine with balanced nutrition to further support your physical and emotional well-being during this challenging time.

3. Focus on Eating Healthy Meals

Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining, and what you eat plays a big role in how you handle the stress. A well-balanced diet can help stabilize your mood, boost your energy, and support your overall health during this challenging time.

Key Nutrients to Support Your Emotional Well-Being

Adding the right nutrients to your meals can make a difference. Here's a quick guide:

Nutrient TypeHow It HelpsWhere to Find It
Omega-3 Fatty AcidsPromotes mental health and reduces inflammationSalmon, sardines, walnuts
Vitamin DHelps regulate mood and supports the immune systemEggs, fortified milk, sunlight

Simple Tips for Healthy Eating

Making healthy eating part of your routine doesn't have to be complicated. Start with easy-to-make meals loaded with nutrients. If cooking feels like too much, meal planning tools or services can simplify the process.

Dealing with emotional eating? Try these strategies:

  • Stick to regular meal times.
  • Eat mindfully - avoid distractions like TV or your phone.
  • Stay hydrated throughout the day.
  • Keep healthier snacks on hand to avoid reaching for junk food.

These small changes can help you create a sense of structure and stability when life feels chaotic [1].

Get Expert Help

A registered dietitian can offer personalized advice to suit your specific needs during this time. They can guide you in building sustainable eating habits that support both your body and mind [1].

And remember, good nutrition goes hand in hand with other healthy habits, like getting enough sleep. Together, they can help you stay strong - both physically and emotionally - through the ups and downs of divorce.

4. Build Better Sleep Habits

Getting enough quality sleep plays a key role in handling the emotional and physical challenges of divorce.

Create a Relaxing Sleep Environment

Turn your bedroom into a peaceful retreat. Use blackout curtains to block out light, a white noise machine to drown out distractions, and invest in a mattress that supports good sleep posture.

Stick to a Sleep Routine

Keeping a regular sleep schedule helps your body maintain its natural rhythm. Avoid caffeine 4-6 hours before bedtime, skip heavy meals 2-3 hours prior, and put away electronic devices during the hour leading up to sleep. Instead, try sipping herbal tea, enjoying a light snack, or doing calming activities like reading.

Sleep Tips for Stressful Times

Here are some proven methods to help you sleep better during stressful periods:

  • Deep Breathing: Try the 4-7-8 technique - breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. This can help your body relax.
  • Journaling: Spend 10 minutes writing down your thoughts before bed. Studies suggest this simple practice can improve sleep quality [1].
  • Relaxation Techniques: Add calming exercises like guided meditation or deep breathing to your nighttime routine to ease a busy mind.

Monitor Your Sleep Patterns

Use a journal or app to track your sleep habits and see what’s working. Improving your sleep can boost emotional stability, making it easier to navigate the challenges of divorce with a clearer mind and steadier emotions.

Once you’ve established better sleep habits, you’ll be better prepared to seek support from others who understand what you’re going through.

5. Join Men's Support Groups

Going through a divorce can feel isolating, but connecting with others who truly understand your situation can make a big difference. Men's support groups create a safe and welcoming space to share your story and learn from others dealing with similar struggles.

Finding the Right Support Group

Search for groups specifically tailored to men dealing with divorce. For example, the Help For Men Brotherhood offers private forums and live meetings where you can connect with others while keeping your privacy intact. Local community centers and websites like Meetup.com also host groups that cater to the unique challenges men face during this time.

Why Men's Support Groups Matter

These groups provide a judgment-free environment to talk about issues that are often hard to discuss elsewhere. You’ll find advice, understanding, and camaraderie with people who truly "get it." Whether you prefer face-to-face meetings for deeper connections, online forums for anonymity, or virtual sessions for convenience, there’s an option to match your comfort level and schedule.

Making the Most of Group Support

Not ready to open up right away? That’s okay - start by listening to others' experiences. Combining group support with individual coaching can also help you process emotions and rebuild your confidence. These groups not only offer emotional relief but also practical strategies to help you move forward.

6. Work with a Therapist or Coach

For many men, societal pressures to "tough it out" can make dealing with emotions during divorce particularly challenging. Therapy or coaching offers a safe and supportive environment to process feelings and rebuild confidence during this life-changing period.

Choosing the Right Support

Therapists focus on helping you work through emotions like anger or sadness, while coaches concentrate on creating actionable plans to move forward. When choosing a professional, consider the following:

  • Experience in divorce recovery
  • Expertise in men's mental health
  • Someone you feel at ease opening up to
  • Flexible session options (in-person or virtual)

Organizations like Help For Men specialize in coaching programs tailored for men navigating divorce. Their services blend one-on-one guidance with practical tools to manage stress and regain confidence.

Making the Most of Professional Support

To get the most out of therapy or coaching, set clear goals, attend sessions consistently, and practice the strategies you learn in your daily life. Keep an eye on improvements in areas like:

  • Stress levels
  • Sleep patterns
  • Emotional balance

Progress takes time and effort, but working with a professional provides structure and accountability. Pairing therapy or coaching with self-care practices like regular exercise or mindfulness can create a more complete approach to recovery [4].

In addition to professional help, staying connected with friends and family can further boost your emotional resilience during this transition.

7. Keep in Touch with Friends and Family

Going through a divorce can feel isolating, but staying connected with friends and family is key to emotional recovery. Many men tend to withdraw during this time, but leaning on your social circle can provide both emotional support and practical help [1].

Building Your Support Network

Make an effort to:

  • Spend quality time with close friends or family members.
  • Arrange face-to-face meetups when possible.
  • Open up to trusted people who can offer a fresh perspective.

If meeting in person isn’t an option, use video calls or messaging apps to stay in touch [1]. Even regular virtual check-ins can strengthen bonds and keep relationships alive.

Finding Balance in Social Interactions

Strike a balance between one-on-one conversations, group activities, and family gatherings. It’s common for men to hesitate when it comes to asking for help due to societal expectations [2]. Start by identifying people you trust, being honest about your needs, and setting clear expectations for the kind of support you’re seeking.

Broadening Your Social Circle

Look into joining local sports teams, hobby clubs, or community organizations that match your interests [3]. These kinds of activities not only help you maintain current relationships but also open doors to meeting new people.

Reaching out doesn’t mean you’re weak - it’s a step toward healing and moving forward. While staying connected is important, don’t forget to carve out time for hobbies or activities that allow you to decompress and express yourself.

8. Spend Time on Hobbies You Enjoy

Hobbies can be a powerful way to care for yourself during the challenges of divorce. They offer a healthy escape from stress, help you heal emotionally, and bring a sense of normalcy back into your life.

Rediscover Old Passions or Explore New Ones

Think about hobbies you loved but may have set aside during your marriage, or try something entirely new. Whether it’s strumming a guitar, hiking through nature, or experimenting with painting, these activities can help ground you, ease stress, and remind you of who you are. Setting aside dedicated days for your hobbies can keep you consistent and make them a regular part of your routine.

Different types of hobbies can benefit your emotional well-being in unique ways:

  • Physical activities like swimming, hiking, or tennis can boost your mood and energy.
  • Creative outlets such as painting, writing, or woodworking encourage self-expression.
  • Intellectual pursuits like reading, learning a new language, or playing chess keep your mind sharp.
  • Outdoor hobbies like gardening, camping, or photography help you connect with nature.

Prioritizing Your Hobbies

Carve out time for your hobbies in your schedule, treating them as non-negotiable time for yourself. This balance between your responsibilities and personal interests is key to staying grounded. Focus on activities that genuinely bring you joy rather than those that simply distract you [4][1].

Finding Community Through Shared Interests

Joining local groups or clubs tied to your hobbies can help you meet people who share your interests. Whether it’s a weekend hiking club or an evening art class, these activities provide a chance to connect with others while enjoying something you love [1].

Spending time on hobbies isn’t indulgent - it’s an important way to care for your mental health and build resilience. While these activities help you reconnect with yourself, don’t forget to also focus on practical aspects like financial and legal planning to create a stable path forward.

Divorce can bring financial and legal challenges, but managing these effectively is key to maintaining stability. According to the American Community Survey, 44% of men see a noticeable drop in income post-divorce [1]. Gaining financial clarity can ease stress and help you concentrate on rebuilding both emotionally and personally.

Create a Clear Financial Plan

Start by separating joint accounts, setting up a personal budget, and using tools like Mint or YNAB to monitor your spending. A helpful guideline is the 50/30/20 rule: allocate 50% of your income to essentials, 30% to non-essential spending, and 20% to savings or paying off debt.

Build a Financial Safety Net

Establish an emergency fund and seek advice from a financial advisor about savings and investment options. As financial journalist Farnoosh Torabi points out:

"Divorce can be a financial wake-up call."

"Legal representation protects your rights and ensures informed decisions during divorce", says family law attorney Laura Wasser.

When addressing legal aspects, focus on these areas:

Legal ConsiderationAction Steps
Property DivisionKeep a detailed list of marital assets
Child CustodyDocument parenting time and related costs
Support ObligationsMaintain records of all payments
Court DocumentsStore both digital and physical copies of legal files

Seek Professional Guidance

Professional support can make a big difference. A financial advisor can help you create a post-divorce budget and investment plan, while a divorce attorney ensures your rights are protected. Organizations like Men's Divorce Recovery also provide coaching for financial and legal challenges [2].

Plan for Long-Term Security

Revisit your retirement planning, insurance policies, and estate documents. A financial planner can help you design strategies to rebuild your wealth and secure your future.

10. Work on Personal Growth and Resilience

Divorce can be a turning point - a chance to rebuild and focus on yourself. By incorporating practices like mindfulness, therapy, and self-reflection, you can create a stronger foundation for the future while fostering resilience and personal development [1].

Take Time for Self-Reflection

Set aside moments to reflect on your emotions and experiences. A mood journal can be a helpful tool to track patterns, pinpoint areas for growth, and understand how you respond to challenges. This awareness can lead to better coping strategies [3].

Set Goals for Growth

Identify areas you want to improve and create realistic, actionable goals:

  • Emotional Well-Being: Practice mindfulness daily and strengthen emotional resilience.
  • Skill Development: Commit to learning a new skill each month or advancing in your career.
  • Social Connections: Participate in social activities weekly and build meaningful friendships.
  • Physical Health: Stick to a regular exercise routine and work toward specific fitness goals.

Work with a Professional

Seeking guidance from a coach or therapist can provide structure and accountability. Experts can help you craft personalized strategies to keep your growth on track [2].

Discover New Interests

Dive into activities that encourage growth and resilience. Attend workshops, seminars, or classes to not only learn new skills but also expand your social circle [3].

Strengthen Mental Resilience

Challenge unhelpful thoughts, practice gratitude daily, and set boundaries to protect your well-being. These habits can make it easier to navigate tough situations and maintain a positive outlook [1].

Track Your Progress

Regularly evaluate your improvements in areas like emotional stability, new skills, and relationships. This helps you stay motivated and make adjustments as needed [1][3].

Personal growth doesn’t happen overnight - it’s about steady, consistent effort. Small steps forward can help you navigate this chapter of life with clarity and purpose, setting the stage for a fulfilling future [3].

Conclusion

The self-care strategies outlined in this article offer practical ways to manage the emotional and physical hurdles of divorce. These steps work together to support healing and personal growth during this difficult time.

You don’t need to overhaul your life all at once. Small, positive actions - like practicing mindfulness, staying active, or connecting with a support group - can make a meaningful difference. Combining physical activity, emotional support, and personal growth helps create a strong base for recovery [1][3].

By adopting these practices, you’re not just focusing on immediate recovery but also setting yourself up for long-term strength. Simple habits like improving sleep, exercising regularly, and seeking professional advice can all contribute to your overall well-being [1][6].

Start with one or two strategies that resonate with you. Healing takes time, but every small step builds your ability to face challenges. These practices are tools to help you move forward, creating a foundation for a brighter future [1][3].

Progress matters more than perfection. Whether through therapy, support groups, or personal growth activities, you’re laying the groundwork for lasting well-being. Prioritizing self-care today helps you navigate current challenges and sets the stage for a more balanced and rewarding life [1][6].

 Ralph B 

Ralph B. is the founder of "Help for Men" as well as "Dad Starting Over". He is also the author of four books:

Ralph has coached and counseled over 1,000 men from around the world. 

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