I am in no way telling anyone how to live. If you can look me in the face and tell me you are happy dressing in “bro vet attire”, letting yourself go physically, growing an unkempt beard, drinking excessively near daily, existing directionless, being mad at the world and bitching about the VA then who the hell am I to tell you that you are wrong. I know I’m not wrong when I tell you that many veterans are extremely unhappy, and they will absolutely let you know that. Making these choices further isolates you from society and will ultimately lead to more problems in your life.
We veterans like all people have a choice. That choice is to continue to do the healthy things that military life absolutely taught you from your initial entry training and on or to throw the baby out with the bath water. You have a choice of being a victim or taking ownership of your future and living the best life you can.
Here are some things that I chose to do that my military service instilled in me:
- Discipline: Doing what must be done routinely regardless of how motivated I am about whatever that is.
- Conduct as an employee: If you used your veteran status to gain employment or if that was a factor in hiring you or even if it wasn’t, you should show your employer and your fellow employees what veterans pride themselves with. Professionalism (doing your job), showing up on time in the right place and in the right uniform or otherwise prepared. You should be calm under fire and exemplify the leadership attributes the military service instills in you. You should make folks nervous by working hard, they’ll work harder because of you.
- Physical fitness/nutrition/healthy lifestyle: You do not have to train for combat or your military duties. I understand very well what it’s like to train with injuries and the accelerated wear and tear that military service does to the service member’s body and health. I’ve figured out what my training goals are and train for them accordingly. I control my weight and diet. I want to retain the ability to be active, healthy, protect, and provide for as long as I can. My priorities and actions match.
- Gratitude/Attitude: I’m entering my best years. That’s how I see it. I’ve worked for decades to get to this point and I’m making up for lost time by engaging in things I enjoy and I’m grateful for the opportunities to exercise my freedoms. Showing gratitude is a daily practice for me.
- Joining a community: I enjoy HFM membership, and I’m involved in multiple other organizations that give me a lot of the same belonging that being in a tight military unit does.
- Goals and Purpose: I have many goals and they are all aligned with my purpose of staying on the pursuit to happiness. You don’t have to be constantly on call or feel “keyed up” like you probably did during your military service. You can throttle down and still move forward. There aren’t a whole lot of emergency situations in civilian life like we had in the military.
- Daily Self Care: I take charge of my health so I can continue to live and live well. I dress appropriately and have made adjustments that leave me both functional and attractively dressed. Regardless of what you think, people will judge you by this and it can and will affect your opportunities in life. It’s much more advantageous to be viewed as well kempt and approachable as it will open options for you from dating to employment.
- Having Fun: I routinely engage in my hobbies and things that bring me alive. I’ve earned it, I’m worth it, I deserve to live this way and so do you.
Again, I did not write this to tell you how to live. I wrote this to merely inform you that you have a choice in all of this and that you don’t have to go the same way that many veterans choose to go. I challenge all of you to take a look at your post military conduct of your life. See if this is what you actually want. If not, identify the areas that you aren’t happy with and take action to change your behaviors and mindset that will get you to where you actually want to be.
I’m extremely proud of my service and I’m sure most of you are too. We should be setting the standard for how to do life right. We should be thankful for our opportunities as most of us have seen what a really bad day looks like or how those in combat zones live. I know that I shouldn’t have survived my combat deployments more times than I ever will know. But, I’m here. That’s the opportunity and I’m taking full advantage of it.
Join me.