Many of you know that I’m a GWOT (Global War on Terror) veteran. I served and deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan numerous times through my 20s and 30s. I like all of you sacrificed a great deal in my 22-year Army career. I missed holidays, time with my family, trips, hobbies, potential wealth I could have made in another career, the list of sacrifices is endless. The bottom line is that this is what I chose to do with my life. No one held a gun to my head and forced me.
I joined the Army a few months after the 9/11 attacks on the United States. My decision to do so was a combination of a need for risk and adventure and the opportunity to make those responsible pay for what they did on our soil, and I deep down knew I would not fare well in college. I chose a job within the Army that would put me in a position to FIGHT for my country and not just serve. I say that not to disrespect anyone but, there is a very big difference between directly killing our nation’s enemies and those that support that effort.
I was furious at the political failures that led to Iraq descending into chaos at the hands of the terror group ISIS and so many more. I thought of all my friends that were killed and wounded, all the time, effort, blood, and treasure involved and lost. Then again in September of 2021 with the reckless withdraw from Afghanistan akin to the withdraw from South Vietnam. My blood was boiling watching the news. Today Iraq is largely pacified, and Afghanistan is in the near exact same state it was after two decades of ground combat except the Taliban are more heavily armed and now have a complete government in place.
I’m reminded of a chapter in the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson. In the chapter he details the life of the last Japanese Soldier in WWII. He survived fighting in the Philippines decades after the Allied victory against Japan. A Japanese reported finally tracked him down and convinced him to come home. The Japanese Soldier relinquished his sword which was promptly awarded back to him, and he returned to Japan a national hero. The man soon found out the Imperial Japan he left decades ago was a shell of its former self. The man died just a few years later. The point of this chapter was to not give your life to stupid causes.
I know that all of us that fought did our absolute best. Most Americans would not do what we did for any amount of money period. The Service Member/Civilian divide is greater than ever. You could say America was at the bar for 20 years but, our military was at war. I retired from the Army 1 March, 2024. The job hunt was horrendous despite all my education, experience, certifications and the like. There were a lot of days that I felt like I had dedicated my life to the wrong cause. I’d lay awake at night so mad and alone.
It wasn’t until I went all in on counseling, pursuing my passions, and focusing on enjoying my life that I began to get closure. The largest of those three being the focus on enjoying my life. I started to not say NO anymore and way more yes. I decided to live not just survive. I started regularly shooting on the range keeping my skills up to date, going to heavy metal shows and concerts, spending quality time with my children exploring new areas and just being very present in where my feet are. In the past I always felt like I had a couple toes back home and the rest of me was “over there” ya know in the war. I redefined my personal fitness goals. Yes, that is important. I’m not training for combat anymore but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t maintain a high level of capability. I took charge of my overall health.
The most important part of coming to terms with the war is surrounding yourself with men and women who’ve been there and done that. They understand. Those who haven’t lived that life will never fully be able to comprehend what you have been through and what you are going through just like you won’t be able to fully comprehend their experiences that you haven’t lived.
You’ve got to get yourself into a place of acceptance that you did your best, you can hold your head up high, and you don’t have to accept the outcome when you weren’t the policy maker. You did your job. The troops all did and performed at a level that has literally never been done. We were handed a set of incredibly complex missions, and we excelled in the execution of those missions. While there were certainly some troops that did some awful heinous things, that was an extreme minority. The overwhelming majority served with honor, distinction, and discipline including you. You should be proud. You did your job at the highest level that could be asked of you.