Gonna spice it up today. I fully understand that many of you are not at this level YET, but you may be surprised what is awaiting you. Develop your confidence, follow the lessons in DBF to set the tone in your relationship, be desirable physically, and take fucking control of your marriage.
When I was dating in my early 20s, one of the things I found very exciting was figuring out what kinks my girl of the moment was into. Those days are long gone for me, so I’ve had to adapt to my marital surroundings. After almost 20 years with the same woman, I dig the fact that the rabbit hole goes a lot deeper for women than I thought in my dating years.
One thing I have found was almost universal: submission. Very rarely did I meet a woman that didn’t enjoy being controlled in the bedroom. My wife is not different. There is talent in finding that balance of dominant and harsh. You have to know where her boundaries are. She will tell you, verbally or nonverbally. She must trust you for the dominant you to thrive.Recently, my wife flat out told me she was annoyed that she dictated when we had sex during our rough patch before my awakening. She told me that all she really wanted was for me to TAKE CONTROL and initiate. Her words: “Just lock the damn door.” I was blown away. I know she enjoys initiating, but it has become a game of who initiates for us now.
My wife is pretty conservative and is a “good girl” by all definitions. She is very intelligent, kind-hearted, and loving. She is also a workaholic. She is very type A. To a fault. She can’t relax by herself. I am the only person in the world she can relax with and show her vulnerable side to. She is very in control at work by nature. She is a doc like me. Being a doc requires you to be a conductor of your exam room at all times. All day. Every day. That control is intoxicating and very difficult for her to turn off. I have no problem switching gears quickly. She is very jealous of that. Tough shit… I’m a guy. We are built for that. She REALLY enjoys letting go of control with me… only me.
So… it is difficult to get her in my frame to fully submit. That requires almost all-day preparation on my part that can be exhausting to tell you the truth. But worth it. I literally begin the preparation when we first wake up. I keep it light and fun as much as possible. Throughout the day, I try to flirt slightly but not thirsty. Little touches on her back or light smacks on the ass when I get home. Nothing gets her in her wife frame more than my bear hugs. She’s fucking putty in my hands once I feel her go limp in my arms. We both put the kids down for bed, but she lingers a little for about 5-10 mins. I use that time to prep the bedroom. Turn on light music, turn on our ambient light in our tray ceiling and make sure the temperature is good. The time right after putting the kids down until actual bedtime is critical. That is the transition from mommy to wifey. We do one of three things to wind down: 1. Slow dance, 2. If she needs time to herself, we separate and read to unwind, 3. Watch a mature show on Netflix and such. Then playtime ensues.
There you have it. That is how I get my wife in my frame and keep her there so she can submit. This is just a roadmap for you to explore. All situations are different, but one aspect will ALWAYS remain constant: preparation.
Be Dominant
