Here I go again making up names for something I’m not sure have a name. There’s a mentality in people (I’d say it’s more overt in men) that they don’t have to do _____ because of their past accomplishments.
“I don’t have to do that shit anymore…hyuck, hyuck, hyuck (laugh and knee slap)I used to be the quarter back of schmuckatelli high school football team in 99 ”
This is also EXTREMELY common with veterans. “I went to war therefore I don’t have to do_____ ever again or I served___ years I don’t have to do ___anymore.” More on that can be found in this article https://helpformen.com/articles/what-type-of-veteran-will-you-be
You are correct that you can live your life in the manner that you choose. Is that really who you want to be? What if I told you that you could become this hard to replace holistically awesome dude if you improved a few things and bring to bear what you already do well?
One leadership quote that I tried to really make a reality in my time in the Army was:
“Be where your feet are”.
This quote really speaks to presence. Are you really being present and focused on execution of the now if you are living in the past? Uncle Rico was the weird uncle in the movie “Napoleon Dynamite”. In his brief scene in the movie, he claimed he could “Throw a pig skin over that mountain!” This is living in the past and neglecting all the great things you could do now. Great tell me more about your letterman jacket, what happened to that guy bud? One thing that I find interesting is when men that are obese or nearly obese tell their athletic sons or daughters to do this or that in whatever sport it is. I always think “Dude you can’t even come close to doing that yourself bud….” The kids generally have this look on their face like “ok dad you couldn’t do this if you wanted to pal.” Can you blame them? A lot of times they are right.
Again, another leadership thing “Don’t ask others to do what you can’t or won’t do yourself”. Same example, go to any youth athletic event and there is no shortage of overweight balding men going on and on about their glory days. My thought is “What are you doing now? What have you done lately?” It’s funny to see the wives’ reactions to this. Eyerolls, laughs, low key disrespect and the guys are either oblivious or think it’s cute. Yeah, maybe some of them are okay with it but, man what would it look like if you shut your mouth about how bad ass you used to be and just became bad ass now? Here’s what I mean by that. The bar for self-improvement is honestly very low. Like stupid low. Lead your family by personal example. Consider how fit you should be to provide, protect, engage, lead, etc for your family. Can you jump in and keep up in a pick-up sport with your kids? Can you run 1 mile to get help in an emergency? Is your family going to have to figure it out because your unhealthy habits are digging an early grave for you?
No this is not all about physical fitness but, I do believe that is the foundation that you build from. Most guys who have undergone this transformation from unfit to fit dad will tell you that nearly every area of their life improved as a result. They are more confident, they got the promotion at work, their wife suddenly didn’t have as many headaches ….weird. Again, look at things that are holding you back. Do you drink too much alcohol? Are you overly reliant on others due to your fixable shortcomings?
No one is asking you to be superman here and ya know what man? My body hurts every day too. I’ve put a ton of miles on my body but, I’m not stopping until I cannot do it anymore. I’m committed to do all that I can for as long as I can. There are three kids watching me and looking for what the standard is for a good man. Two boys that will be men soon and one daughter of mine that needs to know what a husband can be for her and the family. I take that seriously and so should you.
As I always say, I’m not here to tell you how to live I’m just trying to show you that there are options. Don’t you want to be the guy whose wife says, “That’s my man” and points to you? Or some kid asks your kid “who’s that?”. Your kid answers “That’s my dad” with a look of admiration and pride. Think that’s for the movies? Not at all my friend. That’s what you might be missing out on.