By Joe Mansfield
HUSBANDS AND OTHER VILLAINS
There is a large group of women who are very unhappy with their husband's emotional style. "I feel like I' married to an iceberg!", "This man positively has no feelings! "Steve has never cried, even once, in 20 years of our marriage."
Wives all over town mirror these complaints. And inside, so many of them carry a secret fantasy of finding a new and better man. Many secretly covet a specific man and yearn for some piece of magic that will lead them to that tender place of romantic sharing.
There are many tragic stories where a woman dumps her husband to take up with her new flame. Most of these new guys, after the initial glow of newness, ultimately become the worst of the worst too. They become HUSBANDS.
It is very chic these days to be down on men as emotional beings. In their under evolved emotional styles, they are like sitting ducks. Men are very easy to take pot shots at, especially when one compares them to their emotionally advanced mates, today's women.
In many cases, today's woman is light years ahead of her man in areas dealing with emotional growth, spirituality and self care. So many women today seem like fine tuned emotional Porsches. They stare across the distance at their lingering men, stuck in the Model T stage of personal development.
The tragedy is that many men are considered to be emotional cowards. They are too often seen as willfully withholding, interpersonal fraidycats, spitefully holding back the expression of their emotional process. men can appear to be like petulant oysters, only willing to flash an occasional brief glimmer of that sought after inner treasure.
It is very easy for wives to get furious. It is not, however, productive for wives to act from this place of frustration. After all, the did marry men. There is an absolute tragedy unfolding in our society. There is a group of middle aged men who are so conditioned in the old Macho style, that they can't catch up to their wives emotional style. Not only can't they catch up, they are really confused and stuck!
There is however, a new group of younger men who are able to express their emotions. You see them not not only as closer husbands and fathers, but they have like minded male friends for support. The old school men really deserve some understanding. They also deserve forgiveness. It is in fact too late for many of them to change. So what are we to do, shoot them? Send them to the moon? How about appreciating them for everything that they are! They have done what they were conditioned to do. It is really not their fault that the personal growth explosion snuck up on them so late in life after their initial programming was complete.
Wives in the next generation will probably have an equal number of complaints about their too sensitive husbands. No old school husband is going to grow at all in an atmosphere of disappointment and resentment. It is only under the warmth of love and acceptance that growth can take place.
Joe Mansfield's Help For Men
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